Category: Loni

Big Bird

“You’re huge!” I exclaimed admiringly, gesturing towards her burgeoning belly with widened eyes and a gaping grin to match.  I hadn’t seen her in a while, and she had just approached me and another work friend as we’d been casually catching up. Before our pregnant coworker had a chance to react, the other friend, who […]

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Call Me Crankin’stein

344.  That’s the number of questions my four-year-old daughter, Alice, asked in a single day late in July. And 276 is the number of times my son, Rowen, completely botched his pronunciation of motorcycle the following day, opting instead for the three-syllable, made-up noun, my-kyko.   (Not that I can blame him.  He’s two). Where did […]

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Waste

Posted by Loni Sometimes, I like to pop our kitchen garbage can open and peek inside.  Call me weird, but it makes me smile to look upon dirty diaper bundles, flattened cereal boxes, crumpled to-do lists, and damp coffee grounds scattered across the surface of our household debris like dirt.  The most charming trash can […]

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Hot

Posted by Loni I knew I shouldn’t have worn that stupid skirt. It was the long, dark, surprisingly heavy “summer” one I bought from Target to ensure modesty while I led worship at church.  I didn’t want there to be any question about its length, so I chose the one that went all the way down […]

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My Fart-Rendering Loss

Posted by Loni “Everybody likes their own braaaand.” That’s what my sister-in-law told me her guy friends used to say about enjoying the smell of their own farts back in high school. She mimicked them in this slow, dorky voice, laced with her signature lisp, and capped off the quote with one of her famous […]

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Sucked In

  Posted by Loni With crickets singing outside beneath a black summer sky dimly-lit by Mars, the Moon, and the Milky Way, I tiredly stumble from Rowen’s crib to the couch to give him my own version of midnight milk. Plopping down on the cushions in pajama pants and an oversized T-shirt, I rest my […]

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Plan B

Posted by Loni Homemade pepperoni pizza. Grilled cheese and canned soup. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. My supper plans steadily decreased in ambition as Monday evening advanced. I’d been measuring sugar and salt for pizza dough when my two-month-old, Rowen, began stirring in the bassinet I’d pulled into the kitchen next to me. He grunted, […]

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That’s My Sister

Posted by Loni Dexi.  There’s something about my “little” 30-year-old sister’s name that just sounds so…colorful.  And spicy, like a sizzling skilletful of fajita fixings.  Maybe it’s just because “Dexi” rhymes with the first part of the word “Mexican,” but I don’t think that’s it.  Another word that Dexi’s name sort-of rhymes with is “hex,” which is […]

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