Author: kallerman

Maybe I Cheated on You with Josh Duggar

Posted by Dexi My finger slid across the glassy surface of my telephone. Like kung-fu, it stopped on the Gmail app icon and clicked. A brand new email from MyChart. Yay! I get my jollies from checking my lab results during pregnancies, so this would be my excitement for the day. My anxious fingers slapped […]

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Waste

Posted by Loni Sometimes, I like to pop our kitchen garbage can open and peek inside.  Call me weird, but it makes me smile to look upon dirty diaper bundles, flattened cereal boxes, crumpled to-do lists, and damp coffee grounds scattered across the surface of our household debris like dirt.  The most charming trash can […]

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I Chucked the Dirty Diaper into the Ditch

Written by Dexi A black empty highway in front of me. No one. For miles. Where could I be? Yup— North Da- fricken-Kota. Two-year old Scarlett, infant Roguies, and myself headed out of Minnesota state late on a Wednesday July evening, buckling in for a 7 hour drive. Why at night, you ask? Because then […]

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Hot

Posted by Loni I knew I shouldn’t have worn that stupid skirt. It was the long, dark, surprisingly heavy “summer” one I bought from Target to ensure modesty while I led worship at church.  I didn’t want there to be any question about its length, so I chose the one that went all the way down […]

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Going Rogue

Posted by Dexi I woke-up on Saturday morning with a bit of cramping and grabbed my phone to check the time. 5:02 AM. “Too early to wake-up,” I thought. I rolled to my other side, methodically and slowly, as to not make it feel like I was going to swing my still amniotic-shacked-up baby into […]

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My Fart-Rendering Loss

Posted by Loni “Everybody likes their own braaaand.” That’s what my sister-in-law told me her guy friends used to say about enjoying the smell of their own farts back in high school. She mimicked them in this slow, dorky voice, laced with her signature lisp, and capped off the quote with one of her famous […]

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Sucked In

  Posted by Loni With crickets singing outside beneath a black summer sky dimly-lit by Mars, the Moon, and the Milky Way, I tiredly stumble from Rowen’s crib to the couch to give him my own version of midnight milk. Plopping down on the cushions in pajama pants and an oversized T-shirt, I rest my […]

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Marking My Trail with Regurgitated Bread Crumbs

Posted by Dexi How many synonyms do you know for the word “vomit”? I need to use words that mean “vomit” a lot in this post, but I don’t want to be a repeat word-offender, so I am going to access my brain’s word bank, pull out my thesaurus, and maybe venture to urbandictionary.com to […]

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Plan B

Posted by Loni Homemade pepperoni pizza. Grilled cheese and canned soup. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. My supper plans steadily decreased in ambition as Monday evening advanced. I’d been measuring sugar and salt for pizza dough when my two-month-old, Rowen, began stirring in the bassinet I’d pulled into the kitchen next to me. He grunted, […]

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Face It, World

Posted by Dexi Women are not supposed to have hairy faces. But a lot of women, more than are willing to admit to the masses, do don a face full of fluff. I am one of them. And I’m not talking white, wispy locks that are confined to my upper lip— I am talking neck, […]

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